Who Needs Tate?
Okay, we know that Doctor Who is about time travel and everything, but have we slipped into some kind of freakish parallel universe where Catherine Tate is actually funny and ought to be in more T.V. shows?
No, we didn’t think so because Doctor Who is clearly a television programme. Therefore were it to genuinely effect the space-time continuum, then frankly the BBC would have a lot to answer for on where on Earth they’re spending our license fees.
Although to be honest we thought some sort of written explanation (or apology) was in order when we inadvertently stumbled upon The Catherine Tate Show when it was first on. Then another explanation when the show started being described as “refreshingly original” or “hilarious new comedy” during the promos. We wrote this off at the time as some sort of act of desperation by the BBC realising that the show stank and attempting to trick idiots into watching it. Maybe it was. Maybe it worked.
But the upshot of all this is that, horror of horrors, Catherine “I’m seriously not funny” Tate has invaded prime time favourite and all round wonder-show, Doctor Who.
Catherine Tate said in the BBC News Story, “I am delighted to be ruining Doctor Who”, or something along those lines.
What to do? The best we’ve come up with so far, is to print out the following image of Freema Agyeman:
and stick it onto your T.V. during the new episodes, in the hope that it will at least partially block the Tate from view. Look what she’s done! She’s even ruined the word “Tate”. My brain used to associate that word with the Tate Modern in London - a very well respected art gallery even though the cafe’s a bit of a rip-off. But now, I hear the word “Tate” and I immediately become enraged and have to go and lie down for a bit and maybe watch a bit of The Thick Of It or Absolute Power, or any other - you know - funny comedies.
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July 4th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
WHAT ?!?!? I remember Catherine “Desperately shite” Tate was on the Christmas Doctor Who episode, but I just thought that this was a poor attempt by the Jews to ruin Christmas.
Maybe the BBC could right this wrong of allowing her onto a good show, by allowing talented comedians onto her show. Lets face it, her show would actualy be improved with the addition of some rubbish comics like Mike “PAAAATTT” Read and Jim “BFH” Bowen.
July 4th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Or maybe she’s been brought into the show just so she can be brutally killed by Sea Devils to the delight of millions around the world. Sort of like that bit in My Girl.
July 4th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
I had to look up “Catherine Tate” in Wikipedia, and I still don’t know who she is. Judging from this rant, the parallel universe I occupy is a happier one–oh but wait, I have According to Jim and The War at Home. Never mind
July 5th, 2007 at 1:44 am
I would feel somewhat apeased, if there was an episode where she had absolute minimal screen-time, and then inexplicably a Darlic fell out of a high-rise window and utterly splatterfied her gizzards all over the camera lense. Then I would think “AHHHHHHH!!!! They had me going for a while there!!! Cunning!”
July 5th, 2007 at 1:47 am
*I meant Dalek! But the whole inexplicable squishing of her un-funny body (not as part of the script, but an “accident” that they decided to “leave in” the show), would at least mean that she had contributed to one humerous broadcast in her paultry career!
July 20th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
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July 24th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Along with Mash, I had to look her up also and from the youtube videos that were painful to watch I felt infinitely happy that I had not known who she was previously. I’ll go now and mourn for my lost innocence….ah, better,far funnier times… *sniff*
July 31st, 2007 at 5:08 am
we all need tate
July 31st, 2007 at 11:28 am
We do? Smashing, I’m glad that’s all cleared up then.
Thanks, Anonymous!
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:42 am
Honestly I really hope it is all a joke. Catherine Tate cannot be the Doctor’s companion. I would have been happier if they brought back K-9 or even Sarah Jane. Hey, that would work. Bring back Sarah Jane. Could be fun.
August 5th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Oh marvellous. As if the Catherine Tate news wasn’t bad enough… now it looks like James “You may have seen me in 5 billion Yellow Pages ads” Nesbitt is pipped to take over from good ol’ Davey-boy Tennant.
Goodbye Doctor Who. I’ll miss you.
source: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2001320029-2007350619,00.html
June 1st, 2008 at 3:57 am
Go on, admit it, Donna Noble is F*CKING BRILLIANT!