Lemmy&Binky chum Donatello Spageddi Marshall has done gone and made a highly informative instructional video of extreme social importance.

Learn this video inside out, show it to your children, pass it on to your friends. The message must be spread, before it’s too late!

We think it’s something to do with self-harm, or leprosy, or something. The sound’s is not working on our PCs.

URGENT: How To Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

It’s dead good, promise. And no, that was not a pun. Well, it was, but not an intentional one. Look, just watch the video, okay?

Oh yes, and digg it, before it’s too late! DIGG IT NOW!

It’s got a Lovely Log in it too! And that Ben guy off the Peter Sandwich show, but we forget his name.

Popularity: 53% [?]

History will be divided into two eras, before Lemmy&Binky entered the world of Podcasting and after we started Podcasting.

Having successfully taken the web comic world by storm, we felt that our next duty was to take Ricky Gervais off his pedestal and show the world how professionals make Podcasts.

Behold then, and may your ears transcend into a higher plane of existence. An extravagant plane of existence… exclusive, members only, a pay per plane of existence.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Brought to you by the Home Office.

Chavs will steal your expensive new car next week! You will realise that you would not have needed to get the bus to work if you’d had the good sense to get that GPS tracking system fitted!

Your sweet old grandmother will be mugged by a hooded youth after she leaves the post-office tomorrow. You will write a letter to the Sun expressing your anger and demand more police officers on the beat in your area.

Jupiter and Saturn are in conjunction on Tuesday, and as such everyone you’ve ever met will be blown up by some evil foreigner. You will realise that giving the police additional powers to hold terror suspects indefinitely without charge might have stopped this happening.

Your house will be broken into by an Afghan taxi-driver this weekend. Maybe it is time you considered hiding in your airing cupboard until all this has blown over?

The moon is in alignment with Mars this week, suggesting that you will be arrested for a murder you didn’t commit, and will bitterly lament in your cell that there was no centralised DNA database with which you could prove your innocence.

Your identity will be stolen by a 14 year old crack-whore this weekend. After losing your house and all your belongings to the bailiffs, you realise that a small and affordable biometric identification card would have saved you a lot of bother!

Jupiter rising indicates an Iranian chip-shop proprietor will set fire to your grandparents in the coming weeks. Perhaps if there were CCTV cameras outside their flat (or preferably in their living room) such a horrible tragedy could be averted?

This week you will realise what a scary place the outside world is, and that there are thieves and murderers on every street corner. Look out the window. Can you see them? With their evil, beady little eyes! Why not watch some Big Brother to take your mind off it? Big Brother will make everything better!

Muslim extremists will blow up your face on the way to work tomorrow. Why not have a small, unobtrusive implant placed under your skin that allows your friendly government to ensure your safety in the future?

Mercury falling means you might hear rumours of “Cyborg Law Enforcement Units” patrolling the streets of London. Just ignore them–if you’re innocent, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.

Today you will realise that emotion is the primary cause of all pain and suffering in the world, and that by injecting a government-supplied emotion suppressing compound into your blood stream on a daily basis, you will be able to live a carefree and productive life in service of your great country and leaders, free of the shackles of the terrible fear that grips your daily life.

You are free. You are happy. You live a productive and carefree life. Your government will protect you. You are free. You are happy. You live a productive and carefree life. Your government will protect you. You are free. You are happy. You live a productive and carefree life. Your government will protect you.

Popularity: 16% [?]

Okay, we know that Doctor Who is about time travel and everything, but have we slipped into some kind of freakish parallel universe where Catherine Tate is actually funny and ought to be in more T.V. shows?

No, we didn’t think so because Doctor Who is clearly a television programme. Therefore were it to genuinely effect the space-time continuum, then frankly the BBC would have a lot to answer for on where on Earth they’re spending our license fees.

Although to be honest we thought some sort of written explanation (or apology) was in order when we inadvertently stumbled upon The Catherine Tate Show when it was first on. Then another explanation when the show started being described as “refreshingly original” or “hilarious new comedy” during the promos. We wrote this off at the time as some sort of act of desperation by the BBC realising that the show stank and attempting to trick idiots into watching it. Maybe it was. Maybe it worked.

But the upshot of all this is that, horror of horrors, Catherine “I’m seriously not funny” Tate has invaded prime time favourite and all round wonder-show, Doctor Who.

Catherine Tate said in the BBC News Story, “I am delighted to be ruining Doctor Who”, or something along those lines.

What to do? The best we’ve come up with so far, is to print out the following image of Freema Agyeman:

and stick it onto your T.V. during the new episodes, in the hope that it will at least partially block the Tate from view. Look what she’s done! She’s even ruined the word “Tate”. My brain used to associate that word with the Tate Modern in London - a very well respected art gallery even though the cafe’s a bit of a rip-off. But now, I hear the word “Tate” and I immediately become enraged and have to go and lie down for a bit and maybe watch a bit of The Thick Of It or Absolute Power, or any other - you know - funny comedies.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Look! There it is, up to the right next to the Games tab. Isn’t it nice?

Yes, Lemmy&Binky are pleased to announce our all-new, all-singing, all-dancing features page! Sporting all manner of wondrous and exciting articles from Celebrity Guests, this section is literally chock-full of Games Industry insights. It’s miles better than Gamasutra. You’ll never need to bother reading that drivel ever again. In fact, you may as well just delete the rest of the InterWeb since everything you ever need to read is right here*!

*May not actually be a fact.

Popularity: 15% [?]